Antonym: Superpenis
by PenisControl
Summary: Clark has a little problem. Lex has a big one. Clark/Lex. Parody.


**Title: **Antonym: Superpenis

**Author: **PenisControl

**Beta: **Neighpony

**Rating: **PG-13/R?

**Pairing: **Clark/Lex

**Word count:** 625

**Warning: **I don't want to give it away. But if you only came here to get some Clex porn, you're going to be disappointed.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Smallville or anything relating to Superman. Except a T-shirt.

**Summary: **Clark has a little problem. Lex as a big one. Parody.

**A/N.** I got this idea from a search query relating to Smallville fanfiction. I can't remember if I read it incorrectly, if the query was answered, or if fanfiction like this one actually exists. So if you've read something similar to this, then tell me. =O

Also, I had MUCH fun writing this. Seriously. Enjoy.

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Lex had been waiting for this moment for years. He had Clark right where he wanted him, on Lex's bed, panting and wanting.

"Lex..." Clark moaned. "I want to feel you."

Lex smiled. "I know, Clark. But first, I want to see you."

Clark whined piteously and thrust his hips up, trying to grind himself against Lex. "Lex, please! You can already see me!"

Lex chuckled, moving sensuously off of Clark while simultaneously pushing Clark up off the bed. "No, Clark. I want to see you naked. Take off your clothes."

Clark shuffled off the bed nervously, standing in front of Lex. He plucked at the first button of his flannel shirt and it flew off in the direction of Lex's en-suit bathroom. Clark blushed furiously.

"It's OK, Clark," Lex moaned. He loved that he could get Clark to lose control of his strength so easily. "Just take it off, any way you can."

Clark grinned and ripped the flannel off, buttons flying everywhere. His white undershirt was next, followed by his belt. He kicked his shoes off quickly and pulled off his socks. That just left his faded blue jeans.

Lex's pupils were fully blown. Clark's chest was sculptured to perfection; the sight took Lex's breath away. "Your pants too, Clark," he breathed.

Clark very carefully shimmied off his jeans, pushing them off and away, he stood up and Lex-

"Clark?" Lex asked.

Clark flushed and palmed his cock. "Yes, Lex?"

"What is that?"

"What's what, Lex?"

"That." Lex pointed at Clark's groin.

"Oh." Clark smiled knowingly. "It's my co-cock." He could barely get the word out.

By now Lex was sitting up straight on the bed, staring blatantly. Clark didn't seem ashamed of his body at all and let Lex drink his fill. "There's something I think you should know, Clark," Lex started.

"What's that, Lex?"

Lex quickly pulled off his suit trousers and pointed to his own groin.

"HOLY FUCK!" Clark shrieked. "What the hell happened to your cock, Lex?! It's the size of a banana!"

By this stage, Lex's penis had gone completely limp. "Clark. That's normal. Yours...isn't normal."

Clark looked down at his peanut sized cock. "What do you mean?" Clark asked, horrified.

"Clark..." Lex began. "You were around 2 years old when the meteors hit, right? I think the meteor rocks must've stopped your...penile development."

Clark's cock was rapidly deflating. Or what would count as rapidly deflating if Lex could only see it a little better. "Oh." Clark's face was red with embarrassment.

Lex quickly pulled his trousers up again, buckling the belt resolutely and standing up. "Look, I think you should go, Clark. You really should talk to your father about that. I mean, if you ever want to satisfy a partner sexually during intercourse, it's going to be a problem."

Clark quickly covered himself up with his discarded shirt. Not that there was much to cover up. "Oh, OK. Do you want me to come around tomorrow, Lex?" Clark asked hopefully.

Lex looked back at him as he was leaving his bedroom. "No, I don't think so, Clark. I'll call you." Lex stepped through the open doorway and glanced back at Clark. "You know your way out." He clicked the door softly closed behind him and headed for his office.

Lex could barely stand the sad puppy-dog eyes Clark gave him as he'd left. 'What a shame,' Lex thought. 'Such a fantastic body, if only his penis matched.' Lex stopped dead in his tracks as he reached the bottom of the stairs. He could've sworn he'd kept strap-on somewhere in his box of toys.

He slowly turned around and ran back up the stairs towards his bedroom. "Clark!" Lex shouted. "I have something you might like..."

End.

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My apologies for bringing bananas and peanuts into this.


End file.
